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Bingi Babbler
Binginwarri Landcare Group Newsletter No. 15 Tuesday 19th February 2013
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Have your say, share your experience or topic of interest in the next Bingi Babbler - Submit Here
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Co Chair: Kevin Heggen 5185 1322 hedleyrange@bigpond.com.au
Co Chair: John McClumpha 5185 1455 jd@incitegraphics.com.au
Minutes : Jenny Wolswinkel 5186 1340 stellaria.nvs@gmail.com
Newsletter: Kaye Proudley 5185 1398 katbingi@harboursat.com.au
Social Secretary: Margaret Ferguson 5185 1358 bellebird127@gmail.com ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Co Chair: Kevin Heggen 5185 1322 hedleyrange@bigpond.com.au
Co Chair: John McClumpha 5185 1455 jd@incitegraphics.com.au
Minutes : Jenny Wolswinkel 5186 1340 stellaria.nvs@gmail.com
Newsletter: Kaye Proudley 5185 1398 katbingi@harboursat.com.au
Social Secretary: Margaret Ferguson 5185 1358 bellebird127@gmail.com ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
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Here’s a joke I borrowed from The Drum (put out by Yarram Comm-unity Learning Centre) that took my fancy – hope it tickles yours!
When I was a child in the 1970’s, the bathing suit for the mature figure was boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as engineered. They were built to hold back and uplift, and they did a good job. Today’s stretch fabrics are designed for the prepubescent girl with a figure carved from a potato chip. The mature woman has a choice – she can either go to the maternity department and try on a floral suit with a skirt and come away looking like a hippopotamus that escaped from Disney’s Fantasia, or she can wander around every run-of-the-mill department store trying to make a sensible choice from what amounts to a designer range of fluorescent rubber bands. What choice did I have? I wandered around, made my sensible choice and entered the chamber of horrors known as the fitting room. The first thing I noticed was the extraordinary tensile strength of the stretch material. The Lycra used in bathing costumes was developed by NASA to launch small rockets from a slingshot, which gives the added bonus that if you manage to actually lever yourself into one, you would be protected from shark attacks. Any shark taking a swipe at your passing midriff would immediately suffer whiplash. I fought my way into the bathing suit, but as I twanged the shoulder strap into place, I gasped in horror. My boobs had disappeared! Eventually I found one boob cowering under my left armpit, and the other flattened beside my seventh rib. The problem is – modern bathing suits have no bra cups. The mature woman is now meant to wear her boobs across her chest like a speed bump. I realigned my speed bumps and lurched toward the mirror to take a full view assessment. The bathing suit fitted all right – unfortunately it only fitted those bits of me willing to stay inside it. The rest of me oozed out rebelliously from top, bottom and sides. I looked like a lump of playdough wearing undersized cling wrap. As I tried to work out where all those extra bits had come from, the prepubescent sales girl popped her head through the curtain. “Oh, there you are” she said, admiring the bathing suit. I replied I wasn’t so sure and asked what else she had to show me. I tried on a crinkled one that made me look like a lump of masking tape, and a floral two piece that gave the appearance of an oversized napkin in a serving ring. I struggled into a pair of leopard-skin bathers with ragged frills and came out looking like Tarzan’s Jane, pregnant with triplets and having a rough day. I tried on a black number with a midriff fringe and looked like a jellyfish in mourning. I tried on a bright pink pair with such a high cut leg, I thought I would have to wax my eyebrows to wear them. Finally, I found a suit that fitted. It was a two-piece affair with a shorts-style bottom and a loose blouse type top. It was cheap, comfortable and bulge friendly. So I bought it. When I got it home, I found a label that read “Material might become transparent in water.” So if you happen to be on the beach this year – and I’m there too – I’ll be the one in cut-off jeans and a T-shirt! ~~~~~~~ ** Please, if you have contributions to our website or our newsletter (stories or photos) they will be very much welcomed by our editor. ** ** If you have a need for help, or if you can help us, please call either Kevin Heggen or John McClumpha (phone numbers at the head of The Babbler) to see how the group may possibly be able to help you. ** ** Our website is most worthy of a look & it’s always changing! And most interesting, too! (Click on the link at the head of The Babbler.) ** ~~~~~~~ Some of the results of our motion sensor cameras placed in various properties – the good and the bad – but no black panthers or unusual animals yet, unless you count the inquisitive child! 
If you think you may have some different wildlife on your property that these cameras may capture, please feel free to give John McClumpha a call and he can instruct you on how to use them. Apart from being ‘‘Keeper of the Tin’’ John is also ‘‘Keeper of the Cameras!’’
The Cashmore boys had great fun whilst the motion sensor camera was on their property, seeing a baby wombat with its mother, but I haven’t been privy to those photos yet. 
Well that’s all for this very different edition of The Babbler folks. Let’s all hope that decent rains fall soon, preferably without total inundation. Kaye Proudley
Editor Kaye Proudley ~~ Newsletter Editor 5185 1398. 0409 803 341. katbingi@harboursat.com.au (Please ring or email me if you want to be unsubscribed from the newsletter.) |
